The Break Up Complexity
by lemonz and limez
Summary: A Shamy Break-Up Tale, in which the meddling friends take matters into their own hands. This heaping pile of angst does have a happy ending I promise.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Alrighty, I'm back. So, a little story time, this was originally a one shot. A very, loooong, one shot. But then I realized, I need this to be two. So, please enjoy part one of two in this little story I wrote. Disclaimer, I own nothing and that's fine I would probably mess these characters up anyway to fit my agenda. And ALSO, these versions of the characters (especially Sheldon) are extremely OOC, but it's ok because it's fanfiction and that is the whole reason FF was created. For stories like these.**

No one had expected him to take the break up so hard. In fact, when the news broke of Sheldon and Amy's split, everyone rushed to the aid Amy faster than they did Sheldon. His friend's reaction hadn't surprised Sheldon in any way, however, Sheldon's emotions were always so ambiguous, that it was nearly impossible to tell what the man was feeling.

So, when he locked himself in his room for hours on end and didn't blink an eye when Leonard abused the roommate agreement, the group of friends were taken aback. It was then that they took note of all the little things that were going on that they had neglected to notice before. Sheldon's total disregard for personal hygiene, his lack of interest in conversation at dinner, not to mention he decided to use his over two years of sick time and took every day off since Amy ended their relationship.

Now, it was a month later and the gang was gathered in the living room, both Sheldon and Amy absent from the group.

"So, what are we going to do about the Sheldon and Amy break up situation?" Penny asked quietly, aware of the fact that Sheldon and his Vulcan hearing was only a few feet away in his bedroom.

"What is there for us to do?" Howard shot back.

"I don't know what we can do to fix their relationship, but all I know is that Sheldon is slowly killing himself it's getting hard to watch," Leonard told them, keeping his eyes cast down to his food.

Penny nodded her head in agreement. "He's not even verbally communicating anymore. The other day I asked him a question and it was like he didn't even hear me. He just walked back into his room."

"Have you considered talking to Amy about any of this?" Raj asked from his spot on the couch.

Everyone turned to him. It made sense, Amy was the only one that really understood Sheldon that lived in the state of California. However, Amy was also the entire reason that Sheldon was in pain in the first place.

"Raj, what good will that do? It's only going to hurt them both more than they already are," Penny pointed out.

"Yes," Raj quickly reasoned, "but it would also do them both some good. Amy loves Sheldon and Sheldon loves Amy. If they both saw how much pain this break up has caused the two of them, they would probably be quick to get back together."

"For Amy maybe, but not for the other party involved," Howard scoffed.

"Howie, you don't know that," Bernadette spoke softly. "None of us thought that he would take the break up this bad, but here we are discussing it anyway."

Howard shrugged. "Yeah, ok, but we shouldn't drag Amy into this any more than she needs to be."

Everyone knew that Howard and Amy were close in a way that could only be described as a sibling relationship. So, while the rest of the group rushed to the aid of Sheldon, he remained at Amy's side, firmly letting everyone know that he was taking Amy's side in the breakup.

Howard continued, "Sheldon was a terrible boyfriend, and I know he's hurting too, but all that pain he is feeling right now is not going to make up for the over five years that Amy had to put up with him."

Penny set her plate down on the coffee table with a sigh. "Guys, arguing about which party is taking this harder, is not going to solve anything," Penny said, folding her arms over her chest.

"Fine, then what do you purpose we should do?" Leonard asked, a little exasperated.

Penny scoffed. "Hmm, I don't know, maybe instead of sitting on our asses talking about what we could do, we could actually do something and help our friends," Penny exclaimed, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

Leonard shushed her, motioning in the direction of Sheldon's room. "Seriously do you want him to hear us?" he asked her, annoyed.

"Maybe I do, because maybe then he will talk to us."

"What makes you think us talking about him behind his back will- "

"Guys!" Howard yelled, breaking up the ensuing fight between Leonard and Penny. "Us fighting is not going to help Sheldon or Amy, so knock it off."

Leonard made his sorry face and sat back in his chair. "You're right," he sighed. "Anyone have any other ideas?"

The group seemed to have reached an impasse. And for the first time in a long time, they could not come up with a game plan.

"Maybe we should sleep on it, no plan we come up with is going to work overnight," Bernadette said, breaking the silence.

The rest of the group nodded their head in agreement, dropping the matter and moving onto a more pleasant topic of conversation. However, all of them were distracted by the crisis that their friends were in.

* * *

The group hadn't seen each other all day. The boys were too distracted to eat lunch with each other in the university cafeteria, and the girls canceled the lunch that they had plans with the excuse that they "were too busy". However, none of them had intentions to cancel their dinner together, which was set to be at the Wolowitz.

Leonard and Penny were getting ready to leave, when Sheldon exited his bedroom, padding out in his Monday pajamas. It was Thursday. Silently he walked to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water, never acknowledging his roommate's presence.

When he started to head back to his room, Leonard spoke up, stopping him. "Hey, Buddy," he said, and Sheldon turned around to stare at him. "We're going to have dinner at Howard and Bernadette's, why don't you come with us?"

"Why on Earth would I want to do that?" Sheldon responded, incredulously.

Leonard and Penny looked at each other. Penny's features were contorted with worry and no doubt Leonard's were the same. They spoke a silent conversation with their eyes, telling each other to do something.

Leonard turned back to Sheldon and approached him. "You haven't been eating with us lately, I'm sure your friends would love to see you."

Sheldon went pale, like the thought of seeing his friends made him physically nauseous. "I'm not hungry." With that, he stormed back into his room.

The couple knew there was nothing that they could do to convince the physicist to come with them, defeated they made their descent down their building in silence.

"Leonard?" Penny asked once the pair made it to the car.

"Hmm?"

"Do you think Sheldon will be ok?"

Penny heard her husband sigh. "Honestly? No."

This answer took Penny by surprise. "No? Why 'no'?"

"Penny," Leonard sighed. "Sheldon isn't going to be able to find someone like Amy. There certainly not another woman that will put up with his crap for quite as long."

"Isn't that what we said about Amy when we met her? That she wouldn't be able to put up with his "crap"?

"It's not just that," Leonard defended. "Sheldon doesn't want to find someone else. He loves, Amy."

"Yeah, but eventually she'll move on, what's he going to do then?" Penny asked, crossing her arms.

"Make his peace."

Penny smirked. "Sheldon doesn't 'make his peace'."

"When Sheldon was with Amy, he did a lot of things we thought he would never do. Like, willingly kiss a woman, hold her hand, say 'I love you'. Just to name a few." Leonard shot back, looking at his wife, then back to the road.

"Ok, fine, but what if he runs away again?"

Leonard's eyes filled with tears, if he ran away again he wouldn't come back. He would lose his best friend for good. Unfortunately, with the way things were going, he could see that happening. "That very well may happen."

Penny's heart clenched, and she turned her gaze to stare out the window. "I don't want to lose Sheldon," she said, a few tears falling from her eyes.

"Neither do I, sweetheart, neither do I," Leonard spoke, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

They pulled up to the Wolowitz residence and parked in the driveway right behind Howard's car. They sat in silence for a few moments.

"I guess we should go in," Penny said, wiping a few tears from her eyes. Leonard nodded in agreement and took her hand.

"Hey, it's going to be ok," he told her.

By the time the couple made it to the door, all traces of tears were gone, and they put on their happy faces, ready to face their friends.

Leonard rang the doorbell and within seconds Howard was at the door. "Hey, guys!" He greeted. "Come on in."

Walking into the living room, the only other person in the room was Raj.

"Where's Bernie?" Penny asked, setting her purse down on the couch.

"In the kitchen with Amy," Howard answered casually, taking his place in the armchair.

Penny did a double take. "Amy? Amy's here?"

Howard looked at her like she'd grown another head. "Yeah?"

With that, Penny bolted to the kitchen. Having only talked to her on the phone, Penny was anxious to see Amy. However, she hesitated when she made it to the kitchen door. Amy was a mess when she saw her last, but the second that she had seen how Sheldon she dropped everything to stay by his side. She worried Amy might hold a grudge for her running to the aid of her now ex-boyfriend.

She entered timidly, slowly opening the door and stepping through, watching two pairs of eyes look her direction.

"Hey, you two," she greeted, softly.

Approaching the table, she couldn't read Amy's expression. It was like she had gone numb. Her facial features were relaxed, and eyes no longer held the spark that lit up Amy's face. Her smile of greeting was forced like it took all her energy to generate one smile. But something else was different.

She'd done what Penny had done after some of her toughest breakups, change her style. Instead of her normal heavy-duty skirts, she had opted for a lighter cotton skirt that seemed comfortable, yet hugged her curves nicely. There was not a cardigan in sight, only a loose-fitting t-shirt that was easily two sizes too big. Her hair was not straightened, nor was it simply draped over her shoulders, it was left in its natural state which was curly and placed laid-back ponytail atop her head.

"Sorry Leonard and I were so late," Penny apologized, taking her place at the kitchen table.

"Don't worry about it, dinner is still in the oven, you'd have to ask Raj how much longer till we eat," Bernadette shrugged, and Penny felt like a weight was lifted off her chest. She hated to be late for things, a trait she probably picked up from Sheldon. "We were starting to wonder where you were though."

Penny glanced over at Amy, who was keenly focused on her water bottle. "Oh…um." Penny was unsure of what to say. She didn't know if it was a good idea to mention Sheldon or not but seeing how sad Amy was enough to decide against it. "Leonard and I had to talk about some things, time just got away from us." Well, at least some of that is true, Penny thought to herself. "Anyway… Ames, what's been going on with you? I haven't seen you in a couple of weeks," she said, regretfully, looking at her friend with the same compassion she had shown Sheldon less than an hour prior.

"Ok, I guess," Amy said, fiddling with her hands in front of her on the table. "It's a hard adjustment to make. I mean, I was with Sheldon for five years, I guess I just forgot how to be single." Leaning forward to rest her head in her palm, she continued. "Like tonight, it would've been date night… and I don't know what happened, all of the sudden I was crying in the shower. Like I had bottled it all up and it all just came pouring out. I don't think I realized how much I would miss him."

Penny and Bernadette shared a glance, both aware of just how much Sheldon missed Amy.

"You know," Penny said, taking Amy's hand in her own. "It does get easier."

Bernadette nodded in agreement.

Amy still looked skeptical. "Maybe you're right, I just wish I knew if I made the right decision."

"But you did, Amy." Bernadette consoled gently. "You needed to step back and take care of yourself for a while, and after five years with Sheldon, I think you deserve that," she added.

Amy turned to Penny as if to confirm what Bernadette was saying.

Penny's mouth opened and closed a few times, searching for the right words to say. "I think what Bernadette is trying to say is that… sometimes, maybe, you need to step back from a relationship before it suffocates you."

That seemed to strike a chord in Amy because all she could do was simply shrug.

An uncomfortable silence passed over the group.

"You know what!" Penny exclaimed suddenly, slapping her hand on the table. "We're a group of successful women, we shouldn't be talking about boys," she reasoned, only to be met with blank stares.

"What do you purpose we should talk about?" Bernadette asked.

"I got offered a job at Princeton."

* * *

Back out in the living room, Leonard finished telling Raj and Howard of what happened with Sheldon shortly before they arrived.

"So, got him to talk… that's progress… I guess," Howard said, stumbling to find the right words to say.

"Let me get this straight," Raj began. "He comes out in Monday's pajamas, and he hardly speaks and were just going to do nothing!" he quietly exclaimed, trying to not let the girls hear them.

"What can we do?" Leonard asked, "he's a grown man going through a really tough break up. I've been where he's at, sometimes the best thing to do is let them figure it out themselves."

"Leonard, it has been over a month and how many meals has he eaten?" Howard asked, annoyed, pursing his lips.

"Not enough."

Howard continued, "so, what you're saying is that we're just going to stand by and watch as our friend kills himself?"

"Didn't we all try to think of something to do last night and no one could come up with anything?" Leonard shot back, his voice raised slightly.

"Yeah, and we came up with something, but it was firmly shot down," Raj pointed out, glaring at Howard.

Howard rolled his eyes. "We are not bringing Amy into this."

"Amy already is in this!" Raj exclaimed.

"Hold it!" Leonard nearly shouted. "Raj is right, Amy is half of the equation, and Sheldon is the other. None of us are even a variable, so for us to be arguing over something we have no control over… we're just wasting our breath."

"You say that now, but at this point, Sheldon is going down a path where we have to step in," Howard said, almost in a pleadingly. "Leonard, if something happens to him and you could've done something to prevent it, you will never forgive yourself."

"Fine," Leonard said, defeated. "But we can come up with a plan without arguing." The other two men nodded their heads in agreement. "Now, Howard, I know how you feel about bringing Amy into this, but- "

"For the last time, no," Howard said through clenched teeth. "Dragging Amy into this anymore will only cause her more pain, and I don't think that is fair to her."

"Howard," Leonard sighed. "You just said that if I didn't do something then I would regret it for the rest of my life. How do you think Amy would feel if something happened and she didn't know what was going on? She loves him, it would hurt her a helluva lot more than it would hurt us."

"I know you want to protect her," Raj started, but Howard stopped him before he could continue.

"She's like the sister I never had, I don't want to see her in any unnecessary pain."

"I know you want to protect her," Raj repeated. "But this is something that she needs to decide for herself. If she wants to know, then she is entitled to know."

The three men sat in silence, looking at each other. Raj was right, even though they all wished he was wrong.

"Dammit!" Howard cursed under his breath. "You're right…" He sighed, defeatedly. "I can't make decisions for her."

"So, does that mean we all agree?" Leonard asked.

"Yeah" "Yes"

Just then Leonard's phone pinged. 'Who could that be?' He thought.

It was Penny.

 _Amy got offered a job at Princeton.- P_

Leonard read the words repeatedly to make sure his eyes weren't playing tricks on him. Amy. Job. Princeton. This didn't change the fact that they were going to spill the beans on Sheldon's recent behavior. However, if Amy had taken the job, would she view it as a ploy to get her to stay?

Leonard replied to his wife's text.

 _is she going to take it?-L_

He waited a few seconds for a response.

 _She said she's seriously considering it… she has to have an answer by 5 tomorrow- P_

5 tomorrow. That was less than twenty-four hours.

Seriously considering it. Unless they could give her a good reason to stay, she would take the job.

Leonard thought back to when Sheldon first introduced Amy into their social circle, and how he simply didn't want her there. She was Sheldon if Sheldon had taken female form. However, Amy seamlessly eased her way into their small group of friends. As if she had always belonged there. She was family.

Leonard didn't know what to say. He considered both his family, he wanted what was best for both of them. Yet, he hesitated. He thought back to the conversation he had shared with his wife less than an hour before. How both of them admitted to their fear of Sheldon running away again and not returning.

That possibility seemed to double in Leonard's eyes.

Coming back to reality, Leonard looked up at Raj and Howard's concerned faces.

Leonard masked the most convincing smile he could and said: "Everything's fine."

"You sure? Cause' that didn't look 'fine'." Howard retorted.

Leonard held up his hand in protest. "I'm serious, it's all good."

Raj and Howard looked at each other, both of them more than slightly confused. Leonard just stared at his screen for a good two minutes, not doing a single thing. Now everything was simply peachy, with roses and cherries? But if Leonard wanted to drop it, fine, they would too.

* * *

Sheldon was well aware of the five stages of grief. Denial, Anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. Even when he lost his beloved pop-pop, Sheldon knew what he was going through, he was smart enough to figure it out.

Yet, even though all he had all his years of education under his belt, and his years of listening to his friend's opinion on the matter, he never understood just how hard this type of grief could be.

Denial. He'd pestered her for days on end after the breakup. Not fully comprehended what being broken up meant. Leonard and Penny had told him what he was doing was not healthy, but there was no way of stopping him. The relationship was not over to him.

Anger. A stage that was enhanced by his inherited rage from his father. He'd lashed out, not only at his friends but at himself. Constantly yelling at himself for being the one who messed up in the end, for being so incredibly stupid to not realize just how inconsiderate he was being of her.

Bargaining. He'd beg Penny to let him see her, take him to her, call her so that she would pick of the phone and talk to him. Just so he could say he would never mess up again. So he could say that he would treat her like an idol made of stone that deserved the highest praise from the lowly slave boy. But Penny, even Leonard, never budged even when he was on his knees crying and begging them.

Depression. His current state. The combination of all the previous stages. Except now he felt empty. Empty and alone. He couldn't remember the last time he ate a full meal, he was never hungry. The last time he went into work, he had over two years of sick time. The last time he saw all of his friends, he never showed his face at their gatherings anymore. He couldn't remember anything from after Amy broke up with him.

He hoped that acceptance would come soon, he hated this. He hated that no matter how hard he tried, his mind would always find its way back his vixen. The one who had taken his heart and stomped all over it, even if she hadn't meant to.

He hoped she hadn't meant to.

For what seemed like the 20th day in a row, Sheldon was spending his evening in bed. In his bedroom which was far from how Sheldon normally kept house, but he couldn't care less. He barely had enough energy to use the restroom more or less clean his room.

But Sheldon did still have the sense to know when to eat, even if was a handful of almonds. Reading the clock on his phone, he sighed and flung his legs over the side of the bed and trudged toward the door.

'Maybe today is the day I will 6 almonds instead of 5,' he thought, sarcastically.

Padding his way down the hallway and into the kitchen he briefly heard to sound of the front door open. Automatically assuming that it was his roommate he ignored it and headed for the cabinet.

That's when he picked up on it.

He picked up on her.

How the room seemed to get warmer, a feeling he only got when she was around. The smell of apples, green apples, because that was the scent of her shampoo. The heavy weight of her presence.

"Sheldon."

Her soft voice echoing in his ears.

He turned and there she was. His vixen. His little lump of wool. Standing in his apartment after months of not seeing her.

He thought that his eyes were deceiving him, that her presence was merely a taunt from his emotionally wrecked brain. Even in his imagination, she was beautiful… he hated that.

"Sheldon?" Her voice called out again, ringing in his ears as a cruel prank to his already wounded heart. He saw her stride across the room toward him, but he still refused to believe that she was real.

"No," he denied. "You're not real… you wouldn't be here if you were real."

He watched her face contort with worry, it was etched in her features. But still, he denied her.

"I'm real," she insisted, reaching out for his hand that had a firm grip on the kitchen island.

Her touch felt like fire, and in that moment he knew she was real. Imaginary Amy could never make his blood turn to lava, or his nerves spark at the simple touch of the hand. It was so soft, so loving. It was the touch that he had be yearning to feel since the day they broke up.

Amy flashed him a smile, "I'm real."

Sheldon felt like he should cry… hell, he'd been doing it since they broke up. But his eyes were dry, and he wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel. "Why are you here?"

"Our friends told me everything," she said sadly. "I didn't want to believe them, but by the look of things, it seems they were right."

Sheldon took a step back, he needed to get away from her. "Look," he said, holding up his hands defensively. "I don't know what they told you, but I'm fine," he snapped at her, and started to walk towards the couch.

"If this is fine, I don't want to see you at your worst," Amy deadpanned, watching as he fell into his spot on the couch. "Come on, Sheldon, you aren't stupid. You know what you're doing is not healthy," she continued, almost beggingly.

"Why do you care?" He asked incredulously.

Amy sighed heavily and bit her bottom lip. "Sheldon, just because we're not together anymore, doesn't mean I don't care about you."

"Oh, spare me!" He spat viscously.

Amy had known Sheldon a long time, but she's never seen him this hostile… with anyone, much less her.

She threw her arms up in defeat. "Why are you being like this? I genuinely care about you and you're just treating me like garbage."

"I'm protecting myself."

"From what?!"

"FROM YOU!" He bellowed. "You tore my walls down, Amy!" he continued to shout. "You got kisses from me, you got 'I love you' from me, damnit you almost got an engagement ring out me!"

Amy's mouth dropped to floor, shocked at this newfound information. She wanted to say something before it got out of hand, but Sheldon didn't stop.

"And now you expect me to sit here and listen to you lecture me about my behavior, when I am trying to piece back together what you broke!" He yelled, his voice cracking near the end, his eyes filling with tears. "This, this is me grieving. And I've been telling myself that if I ever got the chance to apologize to you I would get down on my hands and knees and beg, but I can't do that. I can't keep opening up to you like I'm doing right now and then have you leave again. It will destroy me," he said, tears now freely spilling over his cheeks.

Amy stood stunned before him. Never in their five years of dating did he ever open up to her in such a manner. Yet, seeing him so vulnerable, and his emotions so exposed almost made her glad that he hadn't.

"Sheldon, I," Amy began, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill over her cheeks. "I'm so sorry," she quivered, bowing her head to hid her face.

Sheldon, through the glaze of his tears, watched her body shake violently with ones of her own. His heart clenched. The entire time he hadn't considered her pain, he just assumed that because she ended the relationship she wouldn't be hurting as much. But here she was right in front of him showing her emotions to him bright as day. And they were intense.

But then he felt guilt. He did this to her. He drove her away, played with her emotions until she simply couldn't take it anymore. Even in that moment when she was standing in front of him, her shoulders hunched and her body wracking with tears, he knew he was the cause. Her intentions were good, they were always good, it was him who was malicious. He couldn't even give her the benefit of the doubt and let her help him, no, he pushed her away the first chance he got.

Not finding any words that would be of any comfort, Sheldon tenderly approached her, cautiously wrapping an arm around her shoulders. The gesture was so simple, but it spoke a thousand words.

She looked up at him, her tears still fresh on her face. Looking at her expectantly, he waited for a response from her, slightly knowing that he wasn't going to get one. But she surprised him, when instead of pulling away, she wrapped her arms around his neck and embraced him tightly.

He knew better than to pull away, after all it was all he dreamed about since the moment they broke up.

Wrapping an arm around her waist, he pulled her in closer. "I'm sorry," he gently whispered in her ear. "I shouldn't have yelled at you."

He felt her shudder against him, more of her hot tears fell onto his shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Amy." His second apology wasn't for yelling, and she knew that. That was for every snide remark, cruel taunt, or false truth he ever provided her with. For the five years of hell he put her through, and for the living nightmare she had clearly been living the last few months. He needed to atone for all of it. Unfortunately, he knew that one simple I'm sorry wasn't going to be enough.

She pulled away from his embrace, her face full of sorrow. "I, uh," she croaked. "I should go."

Panic began to grow in Sheldon. Because he sure as hell was not going to let her walk out that door again. Not again when he knew damn well that it would be that last time. No way. Not until hell froze over.

Amy managed to pry her way out of his grasp and make her way back towards the door. But a hand on her wrist stopped her.

"Amy, no wait," he begged as he tightly held onto her wrist. "Can we please talk?"

 **A/N: Reviews are like fuel to my writing fire ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello all. I think it has been over six months since I updated this story and I would like to sincerely apologize. I have had a rough year thus far and I have been having a hard time finding time to write. Hopefully, the next chapter shouldn't take me as long but who knows? Anyway, I have worked really hard on this chapter so I hope you all enjoy...**

* * *

Breakups were never easy, and Amy's heart would attest to this.

When Amy watched his confused brain try to connect the dots over Skype, her heart clenched. Or the very next day when she finally stood her ground and told him it was over, watching the hope shatter within his eyes, her heart clenched. Standing by as one by one, her friends withdrew from her, only connecting via text, her heart clenched. Not that she tried to stop it.

Howard, who had become much like an overprotective brother, was there for her no matter what. Even when he knew that the gang would be meeting at 4A for dinner, he would stop by and check in on her. While Leonard and Raj ate in the cafeteria and its cozy chaos, he joined her in her lab surrounded by dissected brains. When she learned she had been offered a job at Princeton, he stayed and listened to her; promising not to blab to his wife. And as the deadline for said decision closed in, he made sure to double the amount of time he spent with her. It was as if he knew that the stress was too much for her to bear and his presence lightened it a little.

Howard did not mind giving up the noisy cafeteria to eat his lunch next to cadaver brains; he had managed to get used to it.

"I hope you don't mind me eating with you," he had said, taking a small bite from the tray in front of him.

Amy gave him a gentle smile, thanking him for the company. "I'm just happy to not be eating alone."

Howard studied his friend. When he first met the neurobiologist, he had to admit he was a little put-off. The female version of Sheldon did not sit well with him. One Sheldon was good enough, thank you. However, after she slowly worked her way into their social circle, she quickly became one of his favorite people.

"Speaking of eating, it's been a while since you've eaten with us, why don't you join us tomorrow at my place?"

Amy suddenly went pale. Dinner. That meant there was a possibility of seeing him. "Oh, um, I don't know. I don't really think I'm up for that yet."

Howard spoke before he could think about the implications of his words. "If you're worried about seeing him, don't, he hasn't been getting out much lately.

In retrospect that should have been Amy's first clue into Sheldon's self-destructive behavior.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, "Ok… ok, I'll go."

Howard was thrilled, Amy was terrified.

She'd spend that and the following day in a haze. Everything that was weighing her down gained 100 pounds, crushing her under all of its weight.

The deadline for the Princeton offer was less than 24 hours away, and she was no closer to a decision than when she was offered the job.

She would see her friends for the first time in what seemed like forever.

And it was Thursday, it was supposed to be date night.

Amy had almost considered calling Howard and letting him know she couldn't make it. It was all too much, and she wasn't sure if dinner with her friends was what she needed right now. She just couldn't find it in herself to pick up the phone.

Mustering up enough energy to rid herself the day's grime, she stepped into her shower and let the water take over. She allowed the thoughts to escape from her mind as she stood under the spray. The steaming beads of water consumed her like a fire. Yet, it took her in and held her close. Helping her, for a brief moment, forget about all her anxieties. Job offer? There was none. Dinner? Nothing. Date night?

She allowed herself to be taken to a safer world, somewhere she didn't have to think. It left her feeling numb, but at least she didn't have to feel. Wearing clothes that were not her typical attire, a loose fitting t-shirt, and a cotton skirt, she made her way to the Wolowitzes. Her body was managing on autopilot, driving out of mere muscle memory and general road knowledge. When she pulled into Howard and Bernadette's driveway, she wasn't sure if she had violated any traffic laws, but the lack of flashing blue and red lights gave her an answer.

She drew a deep breath and shut off the ignition. She hadn't had dinner with her friends in what seemed like months, maybe it was, she wasn't quite sure anymore. Regardless, she was nervous. Nervous about how they would react to her presence. She knew Howard was ok with her being there, but she wasn't sure about the others. They were Sheldon's friends long before they were hers, maybe they held her actions against her. However, the way Howard spoke of the toll her absence had on the group proved otherwise. But whether or not the group had some sort of grudge they held against her, did not rid her of another fear that she had.

Whether or not he would be there.

Howard had assured her that he wouldn't be there. On the one hand, she was grateful that he wouldn't be there; she wasn't ready to face him after what happened the last time they spoke. On the other, she was sad that he seemed to be isolating himself from his friends. This was something else that should have also tipped her off that something was wrong.

When she rang the doorbell, she tensely played with the hem of her shirt. The numbness that consumed her body and held her up like a crutch began to leave her.

Howard finally answered the door. "Hey!" He exclaimed gently, once he saw her. "So glad you could make it," he said as she crossed the threshold into the entryway.

She set down her bag on the bench in front of the door and moved to remove her shoes. "Thank you for inviting me," she said as she placed her slip-on flats next to a pair of Howard's converse. "Is everyone else here, or am annoyingly early?"

Howard chuckled. He was glad she was trying to lighten the mood. "Raj is here, Leonard just texted me that he and Penny are going to be late, but no, you are not annoyingly early," he assured, resting a hand on her shoulder as they moved into the living room.

Howard could sense that something was off. She looked exhausted. Her eyes that used to hold a lively spark had dimmed. Her outfit was laid back and two sizes too big that they almost swallowed her whole. If there was anything that Howard was surer of, it was that Amy did not let people see her pain in her outward appearance. In fact, Amy had maintained her dignity from the moment she ended her relationship with Sheldon. But her appearance as she stood before him screamed that she was about to reach a breaking point.

"You feeling ok?" Howard asked, throwing caution to the wind.

Amy gave him a sad smile, one that Howard was not quite prepared for. "Of course, just a little tired, that's all," she explained, looking around the room.

He smiled gently at her, squeezing her shoulder in the process. "Well, I'm still glad you were able to make it."

"Thanks."

"Bernie is in the kitchen helping Raj finish up dinner, she was pretty excited when I told her you were coming," He told her. Her fears about whether or not her friends missed her dissipating, but still not gone.

"Really?" She asked sending him a smile full of insecurity.

"Of course! She missed you," he earnestly said.

And just like that, her smile was gone. Her fears were alleviated but replaced with guilt. While her friends had begun to withdraw from her, yes, ultimately it was she who made the decision to distance herself. While the girls had initially texted her every day to check in, when she stopped responding, it went down to every other day, and then to once a week. Her friends were still looking out for her, and she pushed them away.

"Hey, it's ok," Howard said, softly. "She understands that you're going through a difficult time, she's not mad."

"Difficult time or not, I have been neglecting our friendship," Amy said, moving through the living room sitting on the couch.

Howard sighed and sat next to her. "Look, all of us have been through crappy breakups, we know that you've needed time, so we gave it to you. But none of us have felt neglected by you, just worried."

"Thank you, Howard, "She said, offering him a smile. "You're a good friend."

"Hey, look who's here!"

Amy and Howard looked up at the sound of Raj's voice. Amy, who had her back to the dining room door, turned to face him.

"Hi, Raj," Amy greeted softly, raising from her seat on the couch.

Amy felt that she was being pulled into a hug. While she usually didn't mind the platonic display of affection, her nerves were already shot. She felt her defensive barrier crumbling with Raj's embrace. She thanked the first deity that she could think of that his hug was short.

"We've missed you, glad you could make it," he said as he pulled away from her.

Silence washed over the trio. Not quite knowing what to do, Amy decided to join Bernadette who was still in the kitchen. Thankfully, Raj and Howard let her leave gracefully and resumed a video game they must've been playing earlier.

Moving through the dining room towards the kitchen, Bernadette could be heard washing a dish in the adjoining room. Amy couldn't deny that she was scared about seeing her bespectacled friend again. She could handle Howard and Raj because she saw them on a more regular basis, but Bernadette; she hadn't seen her in a while.

Amy tenderly opened the door to see Bernadette standing at the sink washing a pan, just where she thought she was. Bernadette caught the movement out of the corner of her eye and turned her head that direction. The soapy pot in her hand clinked into the sink. "Amy!" Bernadette squeaked, quickly drying her hands and rushing over to her.

Bernadette didn't even need to hug Amy for the final barrier inside her to break. The numbness was gone entirely, she could feel again. And it hurt, she forgot that it hurt. The second the small scientist rushed over to her tears clung to Amy's eyes. Bernadette didn't seem to notice. "Howard told me you might be coming; I've never been happier that he's right."

"Yeah," Amy croaked, fighting back the tears that were threatening to fall.

Then Bernadette noticed the anguish in her friend's face. "Woah, hey," she said, leading Amy to the kitchen table. "What's wrong?" Bernadette asked as Amy carefully sat down in the chair.

"I don't know," she sobbed, knowing Bernadette could see through her lie. "I've been really stressed lately, I think it's catching up with me," she choked out, tears still falling from her eyes.

Bernadette reached over and grabbed Amy's hand, silently letting her know that she would listen.

"I mean, it's been four months, Bernie, and I don't feel any better now than when I-" The words caught in Amy's throat, "then when I broke up with him."

Wiping away the tears that were rolling down her cheeks she continued. "I feel like I'm in a rut, and I don't know how to get out of it."

The microbiologist saw the change in her friend's demeanor. She knew that Amy had the tendency to hide things; conceal her feelings and let them stir up within her. But she also knew that it was healthy to talk to somebody you trust. So she decided to try and pry her friend's walls down. "Amy?"

She didn't respond, just met Bernadette's eyes with an empty stare. "Have you talked to anyone? Like really talked about how you're feeling?" She asked gently.

"No."

Bernadette gave Amy a knowing look. "You know as well as I do that it is healthy to talk about stuff like this. You don't have to share everything, just…Talk."

The last of Amy's resolve crumbled. She looked at her friend, with the utmost honesty, and said, "I'm so tired, Bernie." Bernadette's grasp on Amy's hand tightened, begging her to continue. "Everything reminds me of him, or something about our relationship, but all I want to do is forget. I just want to move on, and I can't. I've pushed everybody so far away that I can't ask for help anymore. I've never done this. I don't know what I'm doing." Amy stopped, her lips quivering. Bernadette could tell she was trying to figure out what to say so she remained quiet. "Hell, I've screwed this up so bad that I'm the mousy little girl with no friends again."

"That is not true," Bernadette insisted. "Look, Amy, we all know what you're going through. Breakups are the worst. We know you needed space, so we gave it to you. But we never stopped being your friend."

"I'm sorry I've neglected our friendship," Amy apologized, more tears gathering in her eyes.

"Sweetie, there's nothing to forgive," Bernadette assured her with a warm smile. "And for what it's worth will get easier. It just takes time."

"I wish I could believe you," Amy mumbled, looking down at their two intertwined hands.

Bernadette released her grip and got up, moving towards the fridge. "Breakups are never easy, Amy," she said as she grabbed two bottles of water. "Even if you totally hated their guts, it still leaves you feeling lonely and depressed."

If only she could find it in herself to hate him. That would at least make this whole ordeal bearable.

Maybe she did need to get away… perhaps she should go to Princeton.

Amy took the bottle of water that Bernadette extended to her and sighed. "Can I ask you something?" She asked, twisting the lid off of the water until it snapped open.

"Of course you can," Bernadette replied without hesitation.

Before Amy could say anything, however, Penny entered into the kitchen slowly. "Hey, you two," she greeted softly with a smile.

Amy knew something was up the moment she laid eyes on Penny. She had that look on her face that she only made when something was wrong with Sheldon. Whether she liked it or not, Penny was worst when it came to hiding her feelings about him. Their weird brother-sister-Elliot-E. T relationship was Penny's ultimate kryptonite. Amy decided not to comment; she relinquished her right to be concerned when she broke up with him.

As the trio talked, Amy basically had to summarize everything she just told Bernadette to Penny. She did so with less emotion as she was back on guard. Because if something was up with Sheldon like she suspected, she didn't want anything to get back to him that might make matters worse.

When Penny suggested that they talk about something other than boys, Amy decided now or never.

"I got offered a job at Princeton."

Her two friends had wildly different reactions. "Princeton? Oh my God, congratulations, Amy!" Bernadette squeaked, a broad smile spreading over her face.

Penny, on the other hand, didn't say a word, remaining perfectly still in her seat. The worried-about-Sheldon look still etched into her features. Amy studied her best friend carefully while Bernadette began asking questions.

"Do they have a study they want you to work on?"

"For the first 6 months, yes. It's kind of an extension to the addiction study I've done here, but Princeton has state of the art equipment that I could only dream of having in California." Amy's mood lightened whenever she talked about work, but there was certain heaviness to this conversation that was itching at Amy's brain. "But President Siebert told me that they don't just want to hire me as a fellow, they want to offer me a full-time position. So, once the six months are up, I would technically be a full-time researcher there."

It was Bernadette's turn to be speechless. "Full-time, so, you'd have to move there?" She rhetorically asked, the smile on her face dropping off into oblivion.

"Yeah."

"Well, are you going to take it?" Bernadette asked.

Amy sighed, "I don't know yet. I have to have an answer by tomorrow at 5, but I am seriously considering it," she said, fiddling with the cap on her water. She looked back over to Penny, who was frantically typing away at her phone. At that point she didn't care who she was texting, all she wanted was for someone to tell her what to do.

"What do you guys think I should do?"

Penny set down her phone and locked eyes with Bernadette. Amy watched her friends have an 'eye conversation' right before her. She knew that one of them would speak soon, so she waited. Penny was the first to speak. "Amy, this is a decision that you have to make, it's your life. But if you think it's what's best for you then…" Penny's voice drifted away, her sentence finishing itself.

Somehow, Amy had already anticipated that answer, because she knew that was the only logical one. However, Amy wasn't very good at making big life choices. The last one she made has left her heartbroken for four months, so what the hell does she know about life choices?

"You'll find an answer when the time comes you will know what you have to do," Bernadette consoled, giving her a look that a mother would give their child... comforting.

"Yeah," Amy murmured. "I'll know what to do," she echoed quietly, saying it more to herself than either of the girls.

"I hate to interrupt, ladies," Raj announced as he strode into the kitchen. "But dinner is ready," he said as he took a dish out of the oven.

Raj's sudden appearance in the kitchen took the spotlight off of Amy momentarily. Bernadette rose from her seat to grab plates and utensils while Raj put the final touches on the baked pasta dish. Penny, however, remained rooted to her chair looking at the empty seat across the table vacantly.

Amy was going to ask her what was wrong, but Raj interrupted once again by calling everyone to dinner. Penny got up and moved into the dining room before Amy could question her while they were alone in the kitchen. Amy was struck by the sudden act of coldness, but she wasn't hurt by it. If something was up with him like she suspected, she couldn't take anything Penny did personally. Sheldon had a weird effect on Penny.

As the group took their seats at the table, it became undeniable that someone was missing. Howard sat at the head of the table, Bernadette and Amy to his left and right. Raj took his seat next to Amy, while Penny and Leonard took their places next to Bernadette. The empty seat next to Raj stuck out to everybody like a sore thumb. Their group just wasn't complete without him there.

One-by-one Raj served them a helping of the cheesy pasta dish that he and Bernadette had prepared. After serving himself, the group began a conversation just like all the times they had before. Leonard and Howard both made movie references that the girls didn't understand, while Penny proceeded to do the same. The boys began talking about comic books, but the conversation really lost something because Sheldon wasn't there. It was all fine and dandy until Raj pointed it out.

"Man, it really isn't the same without Sheldon here."

The room went dead silent. If looks could kill both Penny and Bernadette would have murdered Raj. The happy atmosphere of the previous conversation was replaced with one so tense you couldn't cut it with a butter knife.

When Amy made eye contact with Penny, the blonde immediately averted her eyes to the plate in front of her. Why were they all being so hesitant around her? What was going on?

"Ok, that's it," Amy snapped, tossing the napkin that was in her lap onto the table. "What is going on?" She asked, looking pointedly at each of her friends.

Two different reactions took place. The boys sighed and looked at each other as if trying to decide who should speak first. While Penny and Bernadette decided to play dumb.

"What are you talking about?" Asked Bernadette, sweetly, with an unusually high voice… even for her.

Amy narrowed her eyes in irritation. She knew when she was being lied to or deceived, it never felt good. And Amy's intuition was telling her that this wasn't a little white lie that her friends were trying to cover up.

"Don't play dumb with me. You're all hiding something, and you know it," Amy accused, watching one by one as her friends ducked their heads like children being scolded by their mother. "Besides we all know Penny can't keep a secret to save her life."

"What did I do?!" Penny screeched.

"You had 'the look'!"

"What look?"

"The look you make when something is wrong with Sheldon!" Amy shouted, the room coming to a standstill once again. "I've known you for five years, Penny, I know how you get when he's upset. You like to act like he doesn't get to you, but we all know what he does to you."

"Oh," Penny challenged, crossing her arms.

Noticing that anger was beginning to flare, Howard decided to intervene. "Alright, that's enough!" he yelled, holding his hand up to signal silence on everyone's part. "There is no need to blow this out of proportion."

"But- "Penny began.

"No 'buts'," Howard cut her off, shooting a quick glance at Amy. "Amy asked a valid question, she deserves a valid answer," He argued.

"Howard!" Bernadette hissed, grabbing his arm in warning.

Casting a glare to his wife he uttered his response. "She deserves to know, Bernie."

Amy watched the events unfold before her eyes. Her suspicion about them hiding something confirmed. However, seeing how the girls were being so persistent about not telling her did not settle well with Amy.

"Will somebody please just tell me what is going on?" Amy begged. She directed her comment more at Howard than anybody else. With how close they had become recently; she knew that he would give into her and spill the proverbial beans.

Howard peeled his gaze off of his wife and looked at Amy. He was taken aback by how desperate she looked. He knew that this may destroy her, but she needed to know… for Sheldon's sake she needed to know.

"Ok, listen to me," Howard said, reaching for Amy's hand. "Do not blame yourself for anything we are about to tell you," he urged, pleadingly.

Amy inhaled sharply. Was he dead? Dying? In prison? What could be so bad? "Howard, please, you're really freaking me out here," she said, her body shaking with something she wasn't quite familiar with.

Upon everybody seeing this, the atmosphere became solemn. The entire group, even Penny who was still feeling slighted by Amy, softened and looked at their friend with compassion. At that moment it became clear that the following conversation was going to be easy on no one.

Howard sighed, knowing just how hard it was going to be. "I know, and I am sorry we're all freaking you out, but you deserve to know what is going on." He paused momentarily.

"Sheldon isn't doing well," he said simply. "I can't say what it's been like when I am not there, but from what Penny and Leonard have been saying, he's heading somewhere we can't pull him back from."

Amy looked to Leonard and Penny who both nodded sadly.

"At first it wasn't as bad," Leonard said, taking the reins of the discussion. "It took some doing on Penny, and I's part to get him to stop calling you, but after that came relentless badgering. He begged us nearly every day for weeks to take us to see you. He came up with a million excuses for us to take him to you, but for your sake, we never caved to his pleas. The last time that it happened he said he just wanted to make sure you were ok," he finished, his voice faltering at the end. "Amy I swear to you the last time I almost gave in. I almost took him to you. But I didn't, and since then he's just looked so… broken."

Leonard wiped his face and continued. "He's not himself right now, and I am terrified of what he might do. He's not eating, I know he's not sleeping, I'm just…worried he might run off to Texas or something," Leonard said, choking over his own words. "I don't know what to do, Amy. We've all tried to do something try to help him in some way. We gave him our undivided attention, cared for his constant needs… more so than usual. He wanted none of it. I'm at a dead end, Amy, we don't know what to do."

Penny nodded her head in agreement. "We've had many an arguments about whether or not to tell you. After all you have your own stresses, but you're the only one who can seem to get through to him.

Amy sat motionless in her chair. She couldn't wrap her mind around the overload of information being presented to her. The Sheldon that Leonard and Penny were describing was not her Sheldon. The man of many schedules and a set routine. Her Sheldon would never do anything that her friends were describing. He didn't beg, he didn't care about other people's feelings, he didn't not eat. No, this Sheldon was depressed; clearly and blatantly, only living in the shell of what used to be her Sheldon.

Amy wanted to believe her friends, knowing her Sheldon, she couldn't. Not without seeing it.

"Amy?" Howard's voice snapped her out of her reverie. "Are you ok?"

She nodded slowly, gripping the edge of the table with both of her hands and rising from her chair. "I need to see him."

Unlike her, Howard rose quickly from his seat. Reaching for her wrist as she turned to the door. "Amy, maybe that isn't the best idea."

"You want me to help him, right?" She snapped, incredulously, and just like that Howard's case died. "I can't do that without seeing him."

Before anyone else could get a word in, she turned to the door and slapped it open with her palm. For the briefest of moments, she wondered what she was doing; she hadn't seen him in months after all. However, if all her friends were right, and he was on the brink of something that even she couldn't pull him back from; she needed to see it to believe it.

Working her way through the living room towards the door she heard footsteps. Her first instinct told her that it was Howard still trying to stop her. So, without even turning to confirm who the steps belong to she spoke: "Howard, you're not going to change my mind, I have to do this."

Instead, Penny replied. "I'm not going to stop you."

Amy turned to look at her, "sorry. Thought you were Howard."

"I know," she replied softly, watching as Amy stepped into a pair of sneakers she didn't know she owned. "I didn't want to tell you, you know."

Amy looked at her best friend questioningly, waiting for her to continue. "Because I knew you were going to do this, and it's going to cause you a lot of pain. But I also know what power you wage over him, and if anyone is going to convince him to change it's going to be you."

Wordlessly grabbing her bag, Amy looked at her best friend. Her jaw and set, and she felt an adrenaline rush kicking in. "I'm not weak you know; I can handle this."

Penny sighed; she didn't know what was about to hit her. "Hold onto that conviction, because once you lay eyes on him, your resolve might falter."

The door was open now; she was one step away from the threshold. However, Penny was not about to let her leave without letting her know one thing. "I'm sorry if you felt abandoned. I might sound like a broken record, but once you see him, you'll understand why we did what we did."

And just like that, Penny walked back into the dining room, leaving her standing in the doorway. Before Amy, could think twice about her actions, she shut the door behind her.

'Hold onto that conviction,' Penny had said.

All her friends made it seem like he was dying. And for all she knew he could be. But had he gone so far off the rails that the only option he left his friends with was turning to his ex-girlfriend for help?

Ex-girlfriend? Even after four months that stung.

As Amy drove to Los Robles, she didn't know how Sheldon was going to react to her presence. Would he be happy to see her? Sad? Angry? Fearful? With how her friends described him, she just couldn't be sure anymore.

Near the end of their relationship, she could read him like a book. Would she still be able to do that?

Thankfully, she wouldn't have to wait too long for an answer, as she pulled into a parking space near the apartment building. Looking up at the window of the apartment she knew Leonard and Sheldon occupied, she could see lights beaming through the glass. He was home, and he was awake.

'At least he didn't use his moment of solitude as an opportunity to run away.' She thought to herself, as used her spare key to enter the building.

Beginning her trek up the stairs proved to be challenging for her. Even being in the same building as he proved to be difficult. It was like a disturbance had occurred in the force. And yet, she continued.

Left, right, left, right, left, right, she told herself as she claimed up the green carpeted stairs.

As she found herself standing in front of apartment 4A, she wondered if she had to knock. She had given up the right to freely enter his apartment when she broke up with him. But what were the chances of him opening the door? If she knocked incessantly, he would probably end up putting the chain on, then she would have to call Leonard to help her get in.

Throwing caution to the wind, she gently opened the door and peeked her head inside. Seeing a figure standing with his back to her in the kitchen, she entered slowly and shut the door behind her.

She studied him, even if she couldn't see his face. He was thinner; thinner than she could ever remember seeing him. His shoulders were hunched over, and his shoulders shook with exhaustion.

Before she could say anything, however, his back straightened and his head lifted curiously. Almost like he could sense her presence. He turned his head halfway, but still not enough for her to see him.

"Sheldon," she called softly.

 _'Because once you lay eyes on him, your resolve might falter.'_

As he turned around, Amy almost broke.

They were right. Her friends were right.

If it was even possible, he seemed even smaller from the front. And his weight loss showed in his face. His eyes drooped and dark circles lay underneath them as if he hadn't slept well in years. His cheekbones seemed sharper like they could cut through the toughest metal.

As her eyes took him all in, her love for him wanted to break free of the confines she had locked it away in. "Sheldon," she said softly, striding across the room. Her heart crying out to touch him and take his pain away.

He staggered back against the counter. One of his shaking hands reaching out for the kitchen island. "No, you're not real."

She gingerly placed her hand over his, insisting, "I'm real."

His hand felt like fire under her touch, yet, at the same time felt like icebergs from the Arctic.

"Why are you here?" He asked coldly, his denial replaced with what seemed like anger.

Not letting this intimidate her, she responded calmly. "Our friends told me everything," she said sadly but firmly. "I didn't want to believe them, but by the look of things, it seems they were right."

He yanked his hand out of her grasp and walked away from her. "Look," he snapped, holding his hands up as if admitting defeat. "I don't know what they told you, but I'm fine," he said, falling back into his spot on the couch.

"If this is fine, I don't want to see you at you're worst," Amy replied, incredulously, not believing that Sheldon Cooper could be so arrogant. Deciding to maintain her calm approach she spoke again: "Come on, Sheldon, you aren't stupid. You know what you're doing is not healthy."

"Why do you care?"

His words hurt her more than if he had physically slapped her. She took a deep breath and bit her lip, the only way she could talk herself back down from the ledge. "Sheldon, just because we're not together anymore, doesn't mean I don't care about you."

"Oh, spare me!" He yelled angrily.

Amy felt herself growing warm, she had tried to be nice and help him, but he had been nothing but hostile with her since the moment she arrived. "Why are you being like this?" she asked, throwing her arms up in defeat. "I genuinely care about you, and you're just treating me like garbage."

"I'm protecting myself."

"From what?!"

"FROM YOU!" He shouted, rising from his seat on the couch. "You tore my walls down, Amy! "You got kisses from me, you got 'I love you' from me, damnit you almost got an engagement ring out me!"

Engagement ring? Amy's mouth hung open, not sure how to process that revelation. He engagement ring before they broke up… that would make her argument of 'he wasn't committed to the relationship' invalid. Before Amy could say something, though, Sheldon continued to shout.

"And now you expect me to sit here and listen to you lecture me about my behavior when I am trying to piece back together what you broke!" He yelled, his voice cracking near the end, his eyes filling with tears. "This, this is me grieving. And I've been telling myself that if I ever got the chance to apologize to you, I would get down on my hands and knees and beg, but I can't do that. I can't keep opening up to you like I'm doing right now and then have you leave again. It will destroy me."

In the five years that Amy had known Sheldon, he never yelled at her. She couldn't remember a time when he had raised his voice in such a manner to shake her at her core. He had never opened his heart up to her in this way either. She had always wanted him to express his emotions, but with how impassioned he was in that moment, she was almost glad he hadn't.

Tears flooded Amy's eyes as she took in everything Sheldon told her. All the pain that she had caused him. "Sheldon, I… I'm so sorry," she sobbed, bowing her head letting her hair hide her face.

She was so embarrassed to have broken down so quickly. Sheldon was the one who needed her, and here she was crying like a toddler who didn't get what they wanted. That was why it was to her surprise when she felt one of Sheldon's arms wrap around her shoulders. When she looked up at him, she was surprised to see that his features had softened. He looked at her like he was waiting for her to say something, but words were failing her. Instead, she wrapped her own arms around his neck and held on tightly. His other arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer to him.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you," he whispered in her ear. She clung to him tighter, and his hand ran gently up and down her spine. "I'm so sorry, Amy."

She closed her eyes tightly, a few tears escaping her eyes. She knew what that last apology entailed. It was for everything he had ever done wrong to her. The way that his voice broke with the words told her that he knew they wouldn't cut it, but the way he sounded so hopeless broke her heart further.

This was all too much. Amy didn't know if she could handle another relationship with him, but she also didn't know how she could live without him. Both were things she had been wrestling with since she broke up with him. For the time being, all she needed to do was get away from him. She needed to think.

Maybe go to Princeton.

"I, uh, I should go," she said after pulling away from him. His grasp on her subconsciously seemed to tighten, but she managed to pry herself free.

Not being able to look him in the eye, she turned away. Before she could walk away from him, however, she felt a and on her wrist.

"Amy, no wait, can we please talk?" He asked, his eyes imploring hers for a 'yes.'

She wanted to run, oh, how she wanted to run. Yet, somehow everything seemed to be on the line with her response. Whether or not she would go to Princeton. If Sheldon would be able to come back from fighting his demons. The future of their relationship. It all came down to a Yes or No.

Amy looked down at his hand grabbing at her wrist, and she twisted her hand. Thinking she was trying to free herself from him, he tightened his grasp, but instead, she let her small hand take hold of onto his own wrist.

"Ok," was all she said.

* * *

A/N: Whoops another cliffhanger (basically the same thing as last time, sorry :p...)


End file.
